Apart from communication efficiency, virtual channel constructions have three natural desiderata. A virtual channel constructor is recursive if it can also be applied on pre-existing virtual channels, variadic if it can be applied on any number of pre-existing channels and symmetric if it encumbers in an egalitarian fashion all channel participants both in optimistic and pessimistic execution paths. We put forth the first Bitcoin-suitable recursive variadic virtual channel construction. Furthermore our virtual channel constructor is symmetric and offers optimal round complexity both in the optimistic and pessimistic execution paths. Our virtual channels can be implemented over Bitcoin assuming the ANYPREVOUT signature type, a feature that we prove necessary for any efficient protocol that has parties maintain a set of Bitcoin transactions in their local state. We express and prove the security of our construction in the universal composition setting.